I have a longing for... fast food!

How crazy is that? Do you know how hard it is to be on a diet in which you really can't have fast food? Saving me money, of course, but just seeing people french fries makes my stomach growl! Fast food is so convenient, so yummy... so bad for you. Which helps keep me on track! I don't want Parker to grow up thinking that picking up dinner through the drive through is normal. It's not. I do struggle a little bit with that though, we ate fast food quite a bit when I was growing up, so it's hard to break the habit. Most of my extended family is overweight, and I do not want to will not become that way. Yes, genes can play a part in that, but self control, exercising, and eating healthy plays a MUCH bigger role. I'm considered "normal" right now (according to my BMI,) but my goal is to be the weight I was before I had Parker, which is still "normal" and, I feel, a healthier weight. I will meet that goal by June. I promise you, and I'm not a promise breaker.

I don't see how mothers keep their houses clean. Is there ever a time in a child's life that they are not dragging everything out of the toybox and scattering things throughout the house? I clean after he goes to bed, and as soon as he is up he has to drag everything out, I do the same thing during his nap time, it is a vicious cycle. I'm not actually complaining, it is actually kind of funny, but I wonder what the apartment inspector thought when he came to change the air conditioning filters and check the smoke alarm? haha

Yes, that is my son in a pot. haha he did this himself and I had to take a picture, he was so proud. As you can see, there are various things scattered all over the kitchen and living room floor!

He gets in some pretty crazy places/things, and usually he can't get out! He was stuck under the kitchen chair, which I thought was hilarious, so it got him laughing as well. It was a little bit of a challenge to get him to cooperate with me long enough to get him outta there!



That's all I have for tonight! I'll leave you with a picture of me and my little angel!

I can't kiss him enough!

Snapshot Sunday

Parker loves to play with my dad. In fact, usually my dad is the one who watches him on the weekends when I work. He gets SO excited when I tell him papa is on his way! He starts running around and laughing, and usually as soon as my dad walks in the door he takes off in a sprint, running away from him! haha I have no idea why, but I decided to capture it on camera the other day because it's so sweet.

 Yes, he is carrying around his favorite sock in most of these pictures...

He's such an angel...

The Twins

Before we know it, my Aunt's twin girls will be here. I am SO excited. My aunt is pretty close in age to me, we're only 7 years apart (she's actually the same age as my sister) so she's always felt more like a sister to me. My pregnancy was bittersweet because at the time, she was facing infertility. I didn't want to tell her, because I didn't know how it would affect her. I can't imagine being in that situation and finding out your niece was having a child when you had tried for so long. When I told her, she couldn't have been more supportive. She was so involved in my pregnancy, often stopping by and bringing me stuff and after Parker was born she always wanted to come see him. It was so special to me, because she put aside her own struggles and was truly happy for me.

This past summer, they started the process of IVF, or In Vitro Fertilization. What a long and painful process! I never imagined all she would have to go through, and as she was going through this they weren't even sure if it would be successful. Some people go through several rounds of IVF before having a successful pregnancy. They implanted 2 little eggs, and here we are, 34 1/2 weeks later anxiously awaiting 2 baby girls. They just now put her on modified bedrest, and she is showing signs of preeclampsia but nothing too serious yet. I had preeclampsia with Parker, and he was born at 36 weeks, so I wouldn't be too surprised if that's when they were born, too.

Here's some pics of their nursery.

They don't have the bedding put on the cribs yet, or the wall hangings up but I just love it. It makes it so real when the nursery is set up, and you can actually picture them laying in their cribs... I love that they will be born so close in age to Parker. We've already established that Parker will be their protector. Afterall, he will be a grade ahead of them in school and we live in a very small town so all the guys will know not to mess with them! I mean, have you seen Parker? I think he could beat up a 3 year old!

ALSO: Update on baby Cooper! I asked for prayers for baby Cooper HERE and they must've worked! He is doing MUCH better, breathing on his own and all. As soon as he starts eating better, they will be able to bring him home!

17 day diet

Me and my mom are starting the 17 day diet tomorrow. Heard of it? Probably, it's pretty popular right now. I'm not much on the idea of fad diets, but I don't believe this is one of them. Yes, it is popular right now, but it is a healthy, long term diet. We don't have the book yet, but her best friend does so we have the food list from her. Basically, you are getting lots of protein and very few carbs, almost no sugar. There are 4 different 17 day phases, so you don't get bored with eating the same stuff over and over again. After the 4th phase, you go back to the 1st phase. Seems pretty simple, but I'm not sure how I will do. I've never stayed with a diet for that long but Florida is right around the corner, right? My mom's friend lost 8 pounds in a week on this diet, and so did her niece... we are only going to weigh once a week, I might have to hide the scale haha.

Parker is almost 14 months old! How the months fly by! You don't actually believe that until they do, and all of a sudden your itty bitty baby is a big boy and doesn't want to cuddle with mommy nearly as much. Of course, that just makes cuddle time even more special, if that's possible.

Still rear facing, can you believe it? I didn't know if we would last this long, but we have. I mean, he was 20 lbs WAY before his first birthday, but he obviously doesn't mind, and it is so much safer. I had originally said I would keep him rear facing until he was 16 months old, but now I'm thinking 18 months sounds about right. The main reason being, we are going to Florida in June and I'd rather him be rear facing for that long trip. So maybe, if I'm brave enough, when we get back from Florida I will turn  him around. Actually, I might HAVE to turn him around at that point, because his seat only rear faces up to 33 lbs and he's at 27 right now!  

Kissy Face

How funny is this face! lol He has known how to give kisses for awhile now, but it used to be whole mouth open kisses! Not anymore, he has learned how to give the kissy face! I was so excited when he did it for a picture I was cracking up!

As you can see from the pictures, we went up to see Jared this evening, had so much fun. Parker loves playing with all the toys and he definitely loves all of the attention! It always gets harder to leave, but that's a good thing, right? =)

I took some pictures of Parker today (I know, I've been picture crazy lately) but he is in the CUTEST stage and I want to remember every little thing! Plus, he had on an adorable outfit, so how could I resist. We created a makeshift background out of blankets (hey, whatever works) and, as always, used that beautiful natural light!

Not sure what it is about the last picture, but I LOVE it! Maybe because the light is hitting him perfectly, or because it captures him so great... whatever it is about it, it's one of my favorite pictures of him!



Black and White Wednesday

I love this innocent look

He always has a blanket dragging behind him...

Playdate Fun

Today was such a great day! I worked midnight shift last night (not something I'm used to!) but we had a playdate this morning at 10 that I didn't want to miss, and I'm so glad I didn't! We had fun just sitting around talking and letting the kidddos play. I tell  you, playdates get more and more fun the older Parker gets! He loves to interact with the other kids, and I'm trying to teach him to share, although he's not to keen on the idea. Here are some fun pics from the day

This is what happens when I bring out the crunchies... between all 4 kids they finished off half a can! haha

After all the playtime we were hungry, so we went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch and I must say the kids were well behaved, especially for so close to naptime! Parker took a THREE HOUR nap when we got home, so I got to get some sleep, and now I think I'm going to watch some Teen Mom and get to bed! I've been up for 24 hours now, minus that 3 hour nap! lol How am I still going??

I almost forgot! I took some cute pictures of my little angel that I have to share! Here is Parker at 13 months, 3 weeks old

It may just be me, but I think he is the cutest thing ever!!! =)



You've only got 100 years to live...

If that. They say the first 5 years of your live is when you make the most progress out of any other time in your life. When you think about it, you do come quite a long way. You go from someone who doesn't know where they are, who they are, who anyone ELSE is...to a little person who can tell you their name and adress. And they can definitely tell you who everyone else is. You go from crying as a form of communication, to talking. From drinking liquid out of a bottle, to solid food with a spoon and fork.  From lying down to teaching your body to walk, and eventually run. You learn what's acceptable social behavior (even if you don't always go by those standards.) You learn to manipulate. And most importantly... you go from pooping your pants, to using the toilet. So yes, the first five years of your life are pretty amazing.

But what about the past 5 years? What have you done? Do you feel as accomplished now, as you did then? I think know I do. In the past 5 years I graduated high school. I went to college. I delivered my wonderful baby boy. I graduated college. I landed my first job in my career field. Am I the same person as I was when I was 18? Yes, of course. But I'm so much more confident in myself, happy, thankful. I've come so far as a person since then.

I try to live everyday as if it's my last, but let's be honest, that's not realistic. Do you think I would tell Parker "NO" 20 times on the last day of my life? Or bother watching TV? Or worry about what I look like, what I'm wearing, if I have makeup on. No, if I knew it was the last day of my life I would not let Parker leave my sight for a second. I would let him do whatever made him happy. I would give him a million hugs and kisses. I wouldn't even THINK of taking a shower or spend an hour getting ready, I would just go! Have fun, soak up every last bit of life I had left.

If I did that everyday? I would be the stinky lady who wouldn't stop kissing her disobedient son. =) So there is a middle ground I try to live in. I'm striving to make the NEXT 5 years as special as the first 5 years of my life and the past 5 years. I want to travel out of the country. I want to take so many more pictures. I want to be the best mom that ever lived. I want to watch my son go to his first day of kindergarten. Because what if these next 5 years WERE my last? I would want them to be special, meaningful, happy.

I would love to hear what your past 5 years were like, and what you'd like to see happen the next 5. You can leave a comment here telling me, or if you blog about it be sure to tell me in the comments so I can go read yours!

Choked Up...

Tonight was so far our scariest event in Parker's whole little life. I'm a lot less freaked out now, but my heart still feels like it's in the bottom of my stomach, if you know what that feels like. I took Parker with me to the Basketball tournament here in town tonight, something he loves to do and he hadn't been out of the house in awhile, so I thought why not. He started getting fussy towards the end of a game so my mom was giving him M&Ms, a real treat for him because we usually stay away from candy. But, mommy forgot to pack yogurt melts and that was the most edible thing they had for him at the concession stand. The few times he has had M&Ms he's done really good, he always thoroughly chews... so much so that he ends up with stains all over his shirt from the colored drool.

What would have happened, if I hadn't been looking at him in that exact moment? He was in his stroller, and looked over at me right as it happened. His eyes were as big as you can imagine and his mouth was WIDE open. I quickly grabbed him up, my mom hadn't even realized what was happening. I put him at eye level and he had this huge tears running down his cheeks, but no sound. Oh the panic. A few seconds seemed like an eternity. I didn't know what to do. I knew what to do. I leaned him forward and hit him on his back but all I wanted to do was keep looking him in the eyes, making sure he was still there. How long can a baby go without oxygen? 1 minute? 4? Oh God, how long has it been. Should I scream? This gym is packed, there must be a Doctor or a Nurse or someone who can help, but who will hear me? Will it be too late? WHAT DO I DO????

*cough cough* Thank you God, Thank you Jesus, he is breathing, he is COUGHING, he is crying! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! He is so scared, he is crying so hard. Thank you for not taking my baby, Thank you for helping me remain calm although inside I was screaming. Thank you for his precious life, for not taking it when in an instant it could become Yours.

How long did this actually go on? My mom and cousin were both there beside us, both equally freaked out but by the time they noticed it, it was about 5 seconds. So 10 seconds total maybe? The longest, most dreadful 10 seconds of my life. Of his life.  Thank you God.

In this article I read from OC Family, it says that 2,900 infants and children DIE from choking each year. Not always on food, but a lot of the time that is the case. How horrible is that... Needless to say, we will not be having ANY candy until... kindergarten? I think that's the longest I can prevent it lol, if it were up to me it would be NEVER.

Roe-vs-Wade Anniversary

It has been 38 years since the Roe-vs-Wade case that legalized abortion in the United States. I will be honest in saying that I am pro-life. I do know someone close to me that had an abortion and to this day I can tell you how old (approximately) that baby would be. I can't imagine making that decision, and I get sick thinking about it, but I can't say it any better than my friend Michele at My Life After Loss. I thought I would share the link to her Blog because I think everyone, no matter what their stance on abortion is, should read it.

I Sing For Joy At The Works Of Your Hands

So lately I've seen a lot of people pregnant, or with newborns, and everytime I see that it brings me back. Do you know what I mean? I'm sure you do, if you have a child that is. And reading other blogs I realized I've never actually told Parker's birth story, or probably even written it in words, so I thought it would be good to do so while the memory is fresh in my mind. First of all, a little history of how he came to be...

I suspected I was pregnant on April 16th. I will always remember that date. Didn't take a test until the 18th, one that cost about $15 and it was negative. The 21st STILL no monthly visitor, so I went to the DOLLAR TREE, wasn't about to spend another $15 on one of those tests, and that little $1 test told me I was indeed pregant. I was pretty calm, and pretty much instantly excited. When you realize someone is growing inside of you, something changes and you become instantly in love. A type of love you've never felt before. I quickly chose a OB/GYN, Dr. Walker, who delivered my goddaughter and her little brother. At my first appointment (about 7 weeks along) they did a quick ultrasound and I got to see and hear my baby's heartbeat.

I can't even describe the feelings I had while watching that little screen, but it sure was amazing. I had a GREAT pregnancy in the beginning, no morning sickness, although I was nauseated sometimes. This was a good thing since I was  in my second and most intense year of xray school.

On July 16th, I was 16 weeks pregnant and we found out that Parker was, in fact, a BOY, and we got to see his cute little profile for the first time. So special.

I had two ultrasounds after that, the first one was in August and was to measure everything and we were right on track. The last ultrasound was in October, and it was the fun one! We got to actually see what Parker looked like! And they even told us he had a ton of hair (which he did, but of course he had to lose it all a few months later for all the blonde hair to come in!)

Parker's due date was December 30, 2009. I really wanted him here before Christmas, so my Dr. had told me that if I didn't go into labor by the 23rd, and at the point I was 1 cm dilated and 50% efaced, he would induce me. I was so excited to have my little Christmas miracle arrive! Well, he ended up coming exactly 4 weeks before his due date.

On December 2, 2009 I was at my last day of clinicals for the semester. I had been having trouble with blood pressure and swelling, but as the day went on, my feet were swollen beyond recognition. They hurt SO bad and it was starting to freak me out. Everyone at the hospital was telling me I needed to call my doctor and tell him what was going on, so I did. They told me to get to labor & delivery immediately, but I asked if I could finish my shift. haha. They didn't want me to, but I stayed another hour or two and then went home, took a shower, grabbed my bag, and out the door I went. I even stopped and ate at Quiznos on the way, because I wanted to make sure I got supper. That night, I was told I would be leaving with a baby. I was confused at first, I figured they would just put me on bedrest, but my blood pressure was getting way too high and the excessive swelling was NOT normal. They explained that they would give me cervadil and let it sit for 12 hours, since I was only dilated to a 1. The next morning they would give me pitocin to induce labor and I would probably have Parker the day after that (first labors are slow, especially with pitocin...right?) I was pretty calm, but I couldn't sleep that night so they gave me some Staydol at 2AM to help that and wow was I freaked. That medicine made me pretty loopy and I had some crazy dreams.

The next morning, I woke up and was ready to get things rolling. My family all showed up around 10AM, right before the Dr. started the pitocin. The nurses explained that I probably wouldn't be having the baby until the next day, so most of my family left after giving me their well wishes. After the pitocin was started, things progressed really fast. The first time my doctor came to "check" me, I was already 3cm dilated, he asked me if I wanted him to break my water. I say, I don't know, should you?? I mean, he's the doctor, right? He told me it would make my labor go faster, so I was all for it.

At this point I was in a lot of pain, they arranged for me to get the epidural and told me it would be 30 minutes or so. I was having back labor, and it was a pain so intense that I can't describe it or even really remember how bad it actually hurt. They gave me a little Staydol again, this time didn't make me so loopy. After that they came to give me an epidural (yay, my saving grace...right?) Not so much. About 5 minutes afterwards they told me my legs should be getting numb... nothing. Ten minutes later... nothing. Fifteen minutes later... you get the point. The Anesthesiologist came in and told me he possibly misplaced the line for the epidural, which would explain why it wasn't working. They told me he would try again if I wanted. Ummm... no thank you, I'll take my chances with the pain!

The next time they checked me, I was 8cm dilated. Yes EIGHT! I couldn't believe it, everything was going so FAST, and they told me I would be in there forever for hours! Needless to say, I was very agitated at this point because I had no epidural, the pain was killing me, and my contractions were not registering on the monitor. So what do they do? They put on internal monitor on me AND Parker to monitor his heartrate. They realize that my contractions are off the charts (oh really, never would've guessed that) and weren't showing up on the monitor before because I was having back labor. I tell them I have to push. They don't believe me. I say, seriously, I have to push. Okay, sure, push if you want to. A few minutes later, the nurse decides to check me. I'm at a 9 and almost completely efaced.

All of a sudden, the doctor is in there and they are TELLING me to push now. Okay. Wasn't bad at first, but wow does that get annoying after awhile. And painful. After about 30 minutes of pushing they start getting all of this stuff ready. They place a towel over my abdomen, and bring all this other stuff over, and I realize he's about to arrive. Let me tell you the really annoying part, they are telling me as he is coming out that they can see his head. I was already clear on the fact that I didn't want to do the mirror thing. Not something I want to see. At this point the doctor asks me if I want to FEEL his head. Seriously? YES, I want to feel his head once he is out, why are we wasting time here??

So after 45 minutes of pushing, Parker James entered the world at 4:28 PM on December 3, 2009. He was 6 lbs 6 oz and 20 in long. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I was able to hold him, kiss him, love him for just a few minutes before he was taken off to the NICU. I was told he would have to stay the night in there, and was pretty sad about that, but they told me he would be okay so I was thankful at the same time. My epidural never did "kick in" in case you were wondering, so I was able to get up an hour after he was born. They were planning on taking me to see him in the NICU, and all of a sudden the nurse walks in with him and tells me he is perfectly fine and healthy, and he would get to stay with me tonight instead. I was relieved, scared, excited.

I am so blessed to be able to tell a story like this with a happy ending, instead of so many who suffer loss of their preemie babies. Those people, my fellow blogger friends, are constantly in my prayers. And I don't for one second take my life OR my baby for granted.

I sing for joy at the works of Your hands. – Psalm 92:4

Prayers for baby Cooper please

My mom's friend, Jodi, had baby Cooper on 1/18/2011 he was a few weeks early at 5lbs 7oz. At first all seemed well. A few hours later they discovered that he had swallowed some of his mothers blood and it was in his lungs, so he was put on a breathing machine. The next day, his breathing machine was down to 35% and it looked like things were going to be okay, but he had to be flown to a bigger hospital when they discovered he was earlier than they had previously thought and his lungs were underdeveloped. Last night, she posted that Cooper is now in critical condition, has had a blood transfusions, and is on nirro for heart, also has Group B and a infection that they cant figure out what it is yet. They have been told that the next 72 hours are the most important so PLEASE keep them in your prayers!

Snow Day!

We had SO much fun playing in the snow today! We didn't stay out there long, because it was quite chilly, but we stayed long enough to get some great pictures of Parker! He didn't know what to think, but you could tell he thought it was pretty neat. It is starting to snow even harder out there, with HUGE snowflakes so who knows how much we will get! I'm not sure what the prediction is, I've heard around 8 inches but I'm not sure if that's right. I don't have to work until Saturday so I'm okay with it snowing a little bit more, but I hope the roads are clear Saturday! Not because I have far to drive, but we get a LOT of patients coming in the ER from car accidents & falls when it's slick outside.

I am in LOVE with Picnik, now that I've upgraded to the Premium membership it's sooo much more fun! I can do just about anything. I made that collage above and then I made this cute little page of Parker and I.

I'm a big scrapbooker, but that takes a LOT of time and I don't have much of that right now. So this is a great way to scrapbook digitally, I printed these and I'm going to pick them up later, so I will see if I like them as much as I think I will. I hope so!

So What Wednesday..

SO WHAT IF...

• My 30 minute Biggest Loser workout with Bob kicked my butt
• I get unbelievably excited about sleeping in (when Parker allows it)
• I take pictures of my son almost everyday
• I still believe in happy endings, even if I don't want to admit that somedays
• I miss Coca-Cola just a little bit too much...
• I have officially become more addicted to my Blog than Facebook
• Last nights Teen Mom 2 had me in tears AGAIN
• Unlike all the other people in the world, I believe Janelle has it in her to be a good mom if she would just be given the chance...
• I tend to see the good in people through all the bad

First Bad Boo-Boo

So let me just say that I feel like an absolutely horrible mother right now. I was sitting on the couch and Parker was playing about 2 feet from me. He went to grab my coat that was on the kitchen chair and somehow fell on the process, and his scream was HORRIFIC! I knew instantly that he was really hurt. I ran over to him and picked him up, trying to find what he had hit and I see it. BLOOD pouring from the corner of his eye. I was panicked surprisingly calm, although inside I was freaking out. I grabbed a napkin and placed it on there gently, and bounced him around trying to distract him until he stopped crying. After a few minutes, he had forgotten about it and was playing. But it looks pretty bad, it was an instant black eye and dried blood was all over it.

Yea, it looks horrible, I know. Can you see the little tear on his face =( So anyways, I called my dad and had him pick up some butterfly bandaids and I put some peroxide, then neosporin, then his little bandaids on his eye. He was such an angel, never even tried to get away or make a fuss, it was like he knew I needed to do that to make it feel better. I of course gave him tylenol too, I'm sure it had to give him a little bit of a headache if nothing else!

As you can see, he got over it pretty quickly but I get upset everytime I see it. He went down for his nap about an hour ago so I'm hoping he will feel even better when he gets up. On the upside of things, I lost another 2 lbs, so in total I've lost 8 lbs in the past few weeks (lost 62 lbs since Parker's birth)! Only 13 lbs til I'm back to my pre pregnancy weight WOO HOO Florida here I come! =)

And the Winner is...

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RACHEL!

Congratulations, Rachel, you are the winner! I will be contacting you to arrange for you to get your prize! Thank you sooo much for everyone that participated in my First Giveaway! Stay Tuned!

Despicable Me!

Despicable Me! What an adorable, funny movie! Honestly, not only did Parker enjoy it but me and Jared were laughing right along with him! It is one of those you could watch over and over again and still love it. Here is Parker entranced in it... I promise I try to get him further back from the TV but when he really likes a movie he gravitates toward it LOL

And I'm not usually a fan of "character" clothing, but we make an exception when it comes to jammies! How cute does he look in these? Is it just me or is this the most adorable thing you've ever seen! Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! He always puts a smile on my face no matter what.

He's the sweetest little thing... although, earlier this evening after I got home from work, took a shower, and was sitting on the couch waiting for Jared to arrive, he got his yogurt melts out of the diaper bag and...

 Uh Oh, am I in trouble for this...

If I could just get these back in here...

Ohhhh, my mommy's not even mad!

I actually found the whole incident quite funny, but maybe it's because I spent the last 2 days working and was away from him all the time and I missed him so much he could've done anything and I would've seen the cuteness in it!

Don't forget to enter my first giveaway HERE, by tomorrow at 3pm! Remember you MUST leave a comment telling me what you did for your entries to count, otherwise I won't know! thanks!

And fine, okay, I'll give you ONE last picture! =)